Life as a New York actor is full of doubts. My doubt of the day is this: Is this really where I want to be and what I want to be doing? This isn't an OH SHIT moment. This is just a calm assessment of my artistic prospects. I'm in a city where there isn't enough work for all the actors, there isn't a lot of highly artistic or brilliant new works being done. I'm auditioning for tiny speaking roles on shows I don't care about and trying to fit in to certain "types." do I even care about this? I have always railed against typecasting in the past and I'm not closer to being ok with it now.
I'm spending a lot of effort on making connections and just trying to be seen. This doesn't leave me terribly satisfied at the end of the day. It's a necessary part of the job...crucial. Auditioning and getting yourself out there is paramount. But I feel like I'd be more happy creation my own work and exercising my creative side more.
Just a thought.
I'm still excited about doing the whole New York thing though. This is an incredible city and it's fun to live here. I think the big draw was that there was a lot of theatre and culture here. Sadly, my finances have kept me from participating in any of this. Hopefully I can do this eventually because nothing get's the creative juices flowing quite like seeing a performance. Perhaps that was part of the romance of Russia. We were seeing stuff most every night and it was all new and exciting.
I'm reminded suddenly of some of the final words Doc and I spoke with each other. We were talking about Matt Foss and how Sara and I had Russia in common with him. It's very hard not to talk Russia when you're talking about theatre. He seemed to admire and respect Foss quite a bit...but in that special "Doc" way you knew he thought Matt's constant talk of Russia came off a little pretentious. He's right. I will always miss his candor and just his ability to shoot the shit.
Jeff and Jason just got to Bier International in Harlem...time to start drinking!
No comments:
Post a Comment