Describing the Great Adventure of Exploring a Role and Keeping it Exciting (April 21)

I've been emailing with Tony a lot recently, conversing about the role of Paris and how to approach a smaller role with not as much text to mine. I've also been talking to him about ACTIONS and how they are the key to unlocking emotions.

If your action is to cry or to weep or wail, you're screwed...the ACTION has to be something you can do. Give yourself something to do and use your imagination to make the world of the pay real...THAT'S where you'll find success. The emotion will come out of that, not out of trying to emote.

I wasted a lot of time during the rehearsal process of this show. Rehearsals are not for trying to get all your lines out accurately or to perform the blocking. Rehearsals are for exploration and deepening one's understanding of the play, character and mise-en-scene. It should also be about developing clear actions and giving yourself something to do. The times I have the most fun onstage are when I can go out and DO something. "I have to do this so that I can achieve this or that." But it also needs to be something that I can't attain...or at the very least, I must shift my focus to some other action based on revelations during the scene.

I was amazed when I saw Lady With the Lapdog in Russia because the actress was able to still be moved to tears after doing this same production for 10 years! How do you keep that fresh? To still be affected? JT said it was because they have really good actions to play. Acting = action. And reaction.

I auditioned for Oregon Shakes yesterday. It went pretty well...much better than Chicago Shakes. The difference was the preparation. Chicago I pretty much just ran the lines in the car...maybe walked through it in Brandon's basement once or twice. But i didn't work them or REEXAMINE them. That was the key to Oregon. I questioned a lot my initial interpretations of my Sebastian monologue. I was walking Rocky and I still wanted a little time to rehearsal, so I stopped in this alley and started thinking through the piece. I can't believe I never tried to work the monologue outside before! It fucking takes place outside!

I felt the warm breeze on my face and I discovered that when Sebastian says, "This is the air" it's not whimsical as I had initially interpreted it...it's an affirmation...a confirmation that he can feel/breathe the air. "This is the air!" Same thing with the sun. Also, you can't reference the sun without being blinded by it and allowing your eyes to be effected.

This all lead me to the fact that, I can feel the air, see the sun, feel and see this pearl she gave me, BUT I'm still amazed...full of WONDER by my good fortune of just banging this beautiful woman!

Next came, "Where's Antonio then?" Again, by being outside, around buildings...I discovered distance and how one ACTUALLY looks for someone. Performing the monologue, I would just look left, then right and wonder where he was. When you really look for someone, you check one place and move your head to see if they're behind a tree or coming around the corner or whatever. You REALLY look. So fascinating how easy it is to gloss over things that are so REAL when you're ACTUALLY doing them.

Always keep working. Never settle.

Concerning How Actors and Directors Work (April 6th)

I find that actors and directors must collaborate with each other in order to be successful...at the very least, I feel this way. I don't want to be a puppet for a director to mold how he wants. I don't want actions, character qualities PRESCRIBED to me.

Charlie is a great director with a keen eye for detail. He's very gifted when it come to stage pictures. However, I haven't gotten to do much table work with him. This is frustrating because I feel like Paris is two dimensional right now...flat.

Backstory is something that's important to me. It might not directly translate to the final product, but knowing specifics like "what day is it," "how long have I known Capulet," "how many times have I asked him for his daughter's hand in marriage?" These are all questions that I can (and should) answer on my own, but when we haven't discussed it I don't feel terribly connected to Capulet.

Actors (me) also like to find the answers to questions. This is the prescriptive directing I don't care for. Asking questions then answering them right away doesn't help the actor and it makes them feel stupid. They aren't allowed to make that transition to knowing more about their own character than the director.

These might be problems specific to this production of R & J because Charlie has directed this before. But just some observations/future warnings for when I direct.