Regarding the Opening Night Success of Gruesome Playground Injuries and the Freedom to Move on to Other Adventures

Satisfaction.

Overwhelming satisfaction.

I could not be any happier with how Gruesome Playground Injuries has gone. Three months. Three MONTHS in the making! And now it's here...it's over. My job is over. It's past tense. I DIRECTED Gruesome Playground Injuries. I'm no longer DIRECTING Gruesome Playground Injuries.

The show last night was beautiful. It was a perfect game. It's everything that I wanted it to be. I was euphoric and giddy, emotional and teary-eyed...I was satisfied.

After the bow, I had to go back into the green room to be with the cast. I needed time to enjoy the moment and let it sit without hearing any responses from the audience. Because the truth is: I didn't care. I didn't care if people liked it.

I liked it. Peter and Kelly liked it. Brian, Devon, and Sara liked it. The team liked it and that's all that matters. Immediately after the show that was all that mattered to me. I hugged Peter and Kelly for too long...almost felt like I collapsed in their arms and just wanted to stay there. I was satisfied. And settled.

It's HARD WORK producing/directing/designing/managing a show, no matter how many people you have supporting you. But the key is: Work with people you want to work with. Nothing else matters after that, because it'll take care of itself. Everyone must be on the same level of COMMITMENT and DEDICATION. If they aren't, it doesn't work. Resentment sets in and it'll blow up in your face. That's probably the biggest thing I learned. The team needs to be on the same page.

Favorite responses from last night:

Yours (Tony's): In regards to how you liked the chalk: "It was ok." That's what I appreciate about you, Tony...your honesty. The chalk was completely put on by me and it's not really your thing, I don't think. Totally fine. I got the sense that you enjoyed the production and you were proud of us....and me. Your opinion is weighted the most and I'm so thankful that you gave it to me throughout this process. It was invaluable. You seemed pleased that they were alive and in the moment. Kelly wasn't just pissed off the whole time. Peter was grounded. I think superobjectives were there..though they always can be stronger.

Jen Goff: "This was full of that Russian artistry. Actors were full of lightness and ease. The chalk and mopping was inventive and creative." This mean the world to me as my big goal in this process was to attempt to implement and create something with those Russian ideals: Simpler. Higher. Lighter. Merrier. JOY. Ease. All of these I harped on and wanted to flow through this production. I was able to learn what worked in their implementation and what didn't. I want to KEEP WORKING AT IT. I think a lot of people feel that young directors try to put a concept on to a show as a means of creativity...but then they lose that as they direct other pieces...like they've learned the error of their ways. Not me. Well....maybe it will be, I don't know. But I don't want it to be me. I want to keep pushing the envelope. I want to work with like-minded individuals and challenge myself to make the type of theatre I want to see. That's what Gruesome was: The type of theatre I want to see. And it gave me great JOY and pleasure to watch it.

Seth Amadei: "Jordan, I'm really proud of you." A very candid and genuine response from Seth. Meant the world to me too. From knowing Seth, I know that he is a tough critic to please...in a good way. You should demand good theatre...not settle. And he doesn't. So I was very happy when I heard this. He liked it. I dare say that he LOVED it. His wonderful wife was half the cast, which I'm sure helped, but he really respected what we did. He had read it, so he was at least a little familiar with the text. But he really appreciated the chalk as well....the mopping of the floor before the final scene especially satisfied him. I was very honored by his response.

Rob Pantano: "That's the best thing I've ever see Peter do." This was very nice to say because he directed it largely TO me...which was very flattering. He has the tendency, as I'm sure you know, to ham it up and play for laughs. He'll even admit to this! So I had to try and rein him in and make sure he was staying true to the character/play/homework that we'd worked on. And I started to learn that all it took to keep him in line was ask him, "Are you playing for laughs now or schmacting or hamming it up?" And he would candidly say, "Yes" with a smile on his face and feeling of remorse. It's so enjoyable to watch him when he's grounded and not delivering a line for our, the audience's, benefit.

Rob also mentioned the chalk and how it made him "feel"...same thing with the mopping. It was nice to get that response from Month in Moscow alumni because we all have the same vantage point now. The work they do over there is beautiful, but why can't we do the same?


I'm sure this all sound like I'm giving myself a big pat on the back, but I'm allowing myself to do this for this post only. There's still MANY things that could've been better about this show...that's just the nature of art. But with the time we had, I'm happy with the product.

And very satisfied.

Detailing the Progress of Gruesome Playground Injuries via an email to Tony Schmitt (July 7)

Tony,

Glad you read the play and hear what you have to think. Valid VALID concerns about the play....luckily, we've started addressing all of them!

RE: Relationships. Yes, most crucial part of the play. There's only two characters and it's definitely "man vs. man" conflict. Why these two can't get together....and perhaps the biggest conflict that the play hinges on, Kayleen's "powers." Does she have them or doesn't she? Does Doug think she does? Does Kayleen believe it? Lots to discuss. I've talked to them each individually and they both have their verdict...but I didn't let them tell the other person. I was reminded of Cherry Jones in Doubt...she said through 500 performances, she never knew if the male actor in the play "did it"...i.e. Inappropriately touched the boy. The director had talked with the actor and they made up their mind, but never told Cherry. Thought that was nice:)

But yes, relationship is key. We've done a lot of backstory work with the etudes and improvisations. We also played a game last night called "Remember When?" peter and kelly sit back to back and one of them starts "Remember when..." and they make a statement about the characters' past. The other actor says, "Yes, I do..." then elaborates on the invented memory. Nice way to create a backstory and voice things out loud. Blair had us do it in shows he directed.

RE: Scene changes. Big concern with that. I really think it'll work...even with the chalk. The set will be 6 boxes that they actors can move around. Within the boxes are all their makeup, chalk, clothes, everything. All their changes are done onstage. I'm thinking ballpark 3 minutes for each scene change. If that holds true, we're still looking at under 90 minutes, which I'm fine with. We're still experimenting with order of operations within scene changes. For each scene there's 1) Moving blocks 2) Changing Costumes 3) Applying Makeup 4) Draw with chalk. Adding the chalk might end up being too much (though I don't think it will)....so if it does, we cut it and we haven't lost much.

RE: Time passage between scenes. Good question that we're still answering. Before each scene, I always ask, "Why didn't you guys see each other?" "How could you not FIND the other person...you had 5 years!" We're just starting to answer those questions for ourselves. Mining the script, I don't know if he really gives answers to them. He gives clues, but not definitive answers. Honestly, that's what i LOVE about this script. There are several different interpretations to the characters/play/scenes that we could choose. There's clues to justify the choices. Example: Why does Kayleen have stomach problems that lead her to vomiting? Bulimic? Maybe, but we didn't find a lot of support for that...i.e. no mention of how she hates eating. I had posed a question to Kelly: Has Kayleen ever been molested by her father? Kelly did some research with "molestation" + "vomiting".....BOOM. TONS of information and links! So Kelly discovered that the vomiting/stomach issues were born from her father molesting her. Then we had to test that against the script and we found that it really REALLY worked. Kayleen's mom left when Kayleen was 11...we've decided that she left because she knew about the molesting but was jealous and left. Her dad then kept molesting her because he missed his wife, Kayleen's mom, and Kayleen looks an awful lot like her. So it survived the test and it's really explains a lot...the cutting, the inability to be intimate with a guy....inability to trust most anyone...how she builds walls to protect herself.

I think I could be better about leaving some moments alone. I'm trying to be diligent and go over everything, but there are moments that are already working and I need to be better about leaving those be. Still "fishing" myself when it comes to this whole directing thing...I'm sure I'll look back on this one day and see mistake after mistake...that's just what happens. But I feel good about where things are and where things are going.

The ONLY big thing I'm worried about is the chalk. Mainly because it's something i'm COMPLETELY putting on the show...it doesn't call for it in the script. But it's also the thing I'm most excited about. I think I can justify it via the fact that kids play with chalk....I don't know if you noticed, but in the stage directions at the start of each scene, Rajiv Joseph writes "The kids are now ___." KIDS. Not characters. So I'm kind of running with that. I will OF COURSE need to know you're opinion about it...if it just doesn't work. Warning though, we'll still have another couple of weeks to work on it....we're still learning about the chalk and what works and what doesn't work.

Let's go with Thursday for the run, ok? We rehearse at Park Bar, 2040 Park Ave in Detroit...right behind the FOX. We can find you a spot for your car right in front. And yes, I would definitely like to talk to you 1 on 1 after. Hopefully we can do it right after the run, but if nothing else, then maybe we can meet for dinner or something like we talked.

So glad you got a chance to read it. I've been excited to hear what you think...and I'll be excited to hear what you think about our run on Thursday:)

Sorry about the novel,

jordan

Entailing the Complications That Arise From Working With Friends (July 3rd)

I'm finding that there are many pros and cons to working with friends. The pros are that you know them more intimately so you can speak to them in a different manner, they cut you slack when you need it, and they are willing to go the extra mile for you. The cons, I'm finding, are that it's hard to feel like you have the right amount of authority, they can take advantage at times, and they don't conduct themselves as professionally. The cons might sound like horrible evil things, but they're not...it's simply what arises from working with FRIENDS.

Peter had a bad day on Sunday. He was caught doing double duty at his other job, he had had a fight with his girlfriend the night before, and he was basically just at his breaking point with STRESS. I had talked about calling rehearsal off so that we could build some boxes for the set, but decided it against it because James at Tipping Point thinks we can use some that he already has. Peter then got it in his head and thought we had cancelled rehearsal altogether because we weren't building.

Not good.

COMMUNICATION IS KEY!

I thought, because we were friends, he was going to bail on me because he just needed a night off. This almost set me off the deep end because I know he wouldn't try to get away with that with any other director. Luckily, we talked, he assured me that he never planned on bailing on the rehearsal, and all is well.

But it got me thinking about communication and how it's so important with directing...maybe even the most important part. I have a written rehearsal schedule which is set in stone unless i change it, but all the TALK about changing it can be confusing. It's also a good idea, if you're working with friends, to know the temperament of your actors...how they're doing...are they being overworked?...is having a rehearsal more harm than good? Talking openly about concerns is very critical among friends in a working environment, because if you bury it, the process can turn toxic almost overnight.

But overall, rehearsals continue to be very strong and productive. I'm really learning how to talk to Peter and Kelly to provoke the responses I want. I'm totally stealing from Tony when I ask, "Does that makes sense?" Peter spotted that just last night..."Taking a page from Tony's book, eh?" And I am, because I think it's a very good question to ask. We need to understand each other if we are going to get anywhere. I caught Peter generally saying, "Yeah...yeah" to a question I posed and I got the feeling he didn't understand me. As it turns out, he didn't, so I re-explained and he got it. I don't know why we as actors do this....we don't want to feel dumb, I suppose. But it's ok to need a difficult concept to be explained a few ways as long as you can understand it ultimately.

I think my greatest strength at this point is my ability to ask provocative questions. This comes from having read the script a TON, which has served me very well.

My weakness at this point is that I'm having trouble directing the actors forward. I struggle with diagnosing exactly WHY a scene isn't working and HOW to fix it. I think a good deal of that has to deal with the fact that we're not clear on our ACTIONS at this point and we don't know where we're going in the scene. A lot of GENERALIZED acting going on, which we can't have. However, I think this is ok at this point. We're still in the "asking question" phase. Next week, we need to move to the "answering questions" phase.

We also had our first night with experimenting with chalk drawings on the floor. Absolutely FASCINATING to watch. I'm so excited because I think my idea is going to work here. The chalk goes on and comes off very easily. It's very entertaining to watch someone draw something...I don't know how many hours I've watched Bob Ross in my day but it's completely captivating to watch. We don't have his skill, but we have provocative ideas to explore and it will be something that the audience enjoys. I'm still in my "How do they do what they do in Russia and how can I incorporate that artistry into my work" phase. It's fun to explore and I'm can see the show start to take shape.